How Witches Hold Violins

This webpage will inform you how witches hold violins. There are just a few simple steps for you to follow along if you would like to. =D

Ingredients

• Your body
• A violin
• A shoulder rest if you prefer
• A violin bow
• A knife
• A cauldron
• Boiling water
• A metal stirring rod
• A helper

Directions

1. Pour 4 liters of boiling water into the cauldron.
2. Painlessly remove your arms using a knife.
3. The helper should drop the limbs into the cauldron.
4. Using the rod with your feet, stir the mixture inside the cauldron clockwise four times.
5. Drop your violin, shoulder rest, and bow into the cauldron with your feet.
6. Stir everything in the boiling water counterclockwise 444 times with your feet. It should look green once you're finished.
7. Your helper should dump 444 milliliters of the mixture onto your shoulders.
8. Finally, your arms will reappear with the violin and bow in a perfect position.

Source

I will not need to cite any sources because this was completely original.